mom passed away saturday august 10, 2013 at 12:25 pm. We arrived at the hospice she was brought to the night before. I fed her orange sherbet type ice cream, she told me to try it so I did and although it was good my mouth had no desire for it because of sadness and so I said it is really good. She liked it, it was cold and the most flavor she had in a while. She couldn't keep it down. We also gave her cold water, she was so thankful and said it's so good, so cold. She seemed fine. She was very restless and plying with her bedding and gown in a repetitive fashion.
I had done my hair the way she liked it (applying mane and tail to wet hair and letting it dry, no more frizzy curly hair!) She looked and made and said "your hair looks so beautiful (a few weeks ago she gave me a really good look and said I was pretty, it touched me)
Of course my sister was playing peekabo again, spending most of her time outside smoking and socializing on the phone instead of spending these last precious moments with our mother. At around 12am my mom became restless again and I talked to her about getting some morphine (earlier she declined some) and I went out the room to find the nurse, I couldn't see her so I came back the room and let my mom know and then I remembered the call light. I pressed the button and a few moments later the nurse came in and a few minutes later morphine was given. my sister came back into the room a while later and my mom asked us to leave. I couldn't understand why, I said I want to stay with you, she must have remembered how uncomfortable it was sleeping in the chair when my dad was dying in the hospital. She said she needed to relax and can't do it with us there. We decided to tell her we were leaving and go into the day room. my sister decided it was time to check herself in the mirrors and text. I tried to nap, I couldn't we decided to get something to eat and we came back and went into the room. mom wasn't having it, she sortayelled for us to leave. I don't remember if I kissed her. We told her we would be back in the morning.
Before we left we went to speak with the nurse and she said some patients do not want their family with them or do not want them to see them declining. She said your mom said she did not want to burden you, and I feel that is why she went into in patient hospice because of the arguments between my sister and I about her smoking and cough as well as her constantly leaving the apartment. my mom was in no way a burden to me. We went back to mom's I slept barely 2 hours. In the morning my sister called the hospital to check on mom, the nurse said she was talking gibberish and that she was restless(I think she was trying to say something but the nurses did not have the patience to listen to understand, we encountered some beast nurses there) we arrived at the hospital at around 9:30 am and said hey mom we are here, she opened an eye once or twice, we asked her if she wanted to drink or needed anything she wasn't responsive verbally, we asked her to squeeze our hand or moan if she wanted water,she moaned we swabbed her mouth and she sucked the water out of it. mom's blood pressure was in the low 70's, she was breathing hard and it was noisy, almost struggling, I heard a little rattle in her throat but just occasionally. We requested oxygen and morphine, it calmed down a little. When they placed the oxegyn tubes in her nose she moved her hand to it to either see what it was or try to get it off. The doctor told us the most she had was 2 days and they will decide later if she should be put on critical status.
The Chaplain came, we requested prayer from a Priest (last rites witch are called anointing of the sick) It was beautiful. That was at approx 11:15am, we also spoke to out mother letting her know she wasn't a burden and she was the best mother and we told her it was ok to go to dad. my sister was on one side of the room and I was on the other, from the corner of my eye I saw what looked like blood streaming out the right side of her mouth. I ran outside for a nurse and she came in and said she was still breathing, the doctor came in and at 12:35pm she was pronounced dead. I think she took her last breath after the blood or vomit(she had been throwing up a bloody looking fluid) She was cold, and quiet. I am not sure if I felt her in the room or if she had gone to the bench where my father was waiting for her in paradise.
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