Sunday, July 21, 2013

Beans and eggs= unpleasant night

My husband loves rice and beans. He asks me to make enough to last 3 nights and because I love him I do so the  night before. He had 2 servings. The next day for lunch I made egg salad. While it was good he began the silent bomb attack, the slow and silent PFFT sound releasing such a rotten scent that wold petrify and smack a zombie dead.

We went to walmart to get some cheese, he began releasing his attack. I wasn't aware until he started speed walking ahead and someone in the family behind us said wooo weee! In my 30 years I have never been able to launch such an applaudable release of foulness that caused another being to get hit by a hot, thick invisible wall of stank.

McFarty finished up the rice and beans this evening while I was asleep he came into the bed and woke me from his excessive movements, snoring, screeching lungs soaking in non smoke filled air and his hot air bullets. I am choking and gagging from the scent. You know its bad when yoour dog turns her head to check if she is the one farting.

I do not want to begin to try and understand those with fart fetishes, don't get me wrong sometimes I do enjoy the scent of my own and crtitique them as if they are fine wine but I can't stand to smell another persons farts.

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