Thursday, October 31, 2013

Halloween tears

Its only halloween and I miss my mother. Her handmade decorations, her half eaten bag of candies to hand out to the trick or treaters, our conversation at the end of the night about how no children knocked for candy.

What I really miss is being able to ask her what costumes I wore growing up and if there are any pictures of them.

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Almost 3 months has passed since my mom died of stage 4 breast cancer.

Its been a while since I wrote and almost 3 months since my mom passed away. I've been sad, miss both my parents very much. I hope they are together somewhere in eternity.

I'm broken but at the same time I have steel within me, I know that there is nothing that could hurt more than wanting to call someone who you will never be able to reach again.

Monday, August 26, 2013

Monday Mess Pie Topped With a Drunken Cherry.

My Monday has been a mess since waking with a hangover-like headache, my husband's 3rd consecutive day of 103 fever and calling my sister to find out if Thursday would be a good day to meet at the bank to close out my mother's accounts. I was bombarded with excuses and then I was asked if I would be normal. Excuse me bitch, you are the incestuous child molester. The drunken cherry of my mess pie day was walking in the room to find the dog had climbed up on the night table to the dresser to get my book and chew off the back cover and pages. END RANT.

If the day didn't start out good I am sure as hell going to end it good. Teen Mom 3 is on tonight, one of  my logos has been completed by the designer and pending my review and my web designer finally wrote back after 3 long days.

Oh and I found a BLOOD TYPE TEST KIT  that I am ordering for my husband and I to test our blood types and rh factor which I will be blogging on as soon as I get it, so freaking excited!

My New Passion: Zecharia Sitchin Books

Since my mother passed away I have been looking for signs from her. The day she passed away I was driving home on the highway and ran into some bumper to bumper traffic due to road work and a white butterfly flew across right in front of me. I usually get toad rage and my mother was always the witness to it, but just for that car ride home I tried hard not to because I thought the butterfly was a sign from her. Also I am searching for answers here so I have been reading Zecharia Sitchin books of the Earth Chronicles collection that surpisingly my dad had the ones I did not have, and I am totally hooked.

In 2007, for a college assignment I did a paper on my historical roots where I interviewed my parents, my father gave me some good stories about his life growing up and my mother told me about how her family lost their bread & breakfast due to World War II and having to relocate and she also gave me a few family tree papers, some of which is in Hungarian so one day I am going to need a translator.

Taking things a step further I got my maternal mtDNA done, this was in 2007 and it probably cost round $300 but today I am so glad I did it. I am researching my roots further and want to know as much information as possible regarding my haplogroup and eventually would like to get my blood rh type. This is so exciting, I wonder if I am rh negative or positive and when I find out the answer will I be disappointed for whatever reason.

This reminds me of when I was 11 or 12, I would follow crime stories in the newspapers and save the articles with hopes that I could crack the case. A few weeks before my mother passed away she brought up how I was obsessed with some serial killer they had arrested (do not remember his name) and she thought it was a love obsession. This was not at all the case, I used to watch a show on PBS called "GhostWriter" and it was about a group of kids who with the help of a ghost pen cracked cases in their neighborhood. I am not sure if she believed me. That was not all, you could find me typing up gossip for my pretend news show. When I was younger I wanted to be a private investigator, I knew how to catfish or catch a catfish before the show "CATFISH" on MTV aired. My sisters friends would ask me to crack their boyfriends passwords, get into their instant messenger among many other requests.

So when I started reading "Genisis Revisited" by Zacharia Stitchin I was blown away and it brought all these memories into my head. My dog even decided to get in on the action by chewing the cover half off , the corner and the first couple pages, good thing I had read them already or she would have a photo on facebook with a dog shame poster around her neck reading "I chew my human's book while she was making my dinner and tired to chew it again instead of eating my food". Kinda like this one:



Saturday, August 24, 2013

Health Warning. Do NOT Shampoo in the Shower!

DO NOT wash your hair in the shower!!
It's so good to finally get a health warning that is useful!!!
IT INVOLVES THE SHAMPOO WHEN IT RUNS DOWN YOUR BODY WHEN YOU SHOWER WITH IT. WARNING TO US ALL!!!
Shampoo Warning! I don't know WHY I didn't figure this out sooner! I use shampoo in the shower! When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body, and printed very clearly on the shampoo label is this warning, "FOR EXTRA BODY AND VOLUME."
No wonder I have been gaining weight! Well! I got rid of that shampoo and I am going to start showering with Dawn Dishwashing Soap. It's label reads, "DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE."
Problem solved! If I don't answer the phone, I'll be in the shower.




LOL. 
Mad Girl Blues

Friday, August 23, 2013

Symbolic Meaning Behind Gem Stones

Symbolic Meanings of Gem Stones








Agate – Courage, symbolizes 3rd Eye, gives a spiritual love of truth, banishes fears, hardens tender gums.

Alexandrite – Inner and outer regeneration, works on the crown chakra, brings general good fortune.
Amazonite – Strengthens the nervous system, used in ancient Egypt
Amber – Grounds and stabilizes, healing agent, acts as a filter, radiates light and heat.
Amethyst – Protection, spiritual attunement, gives visions or opens spiritual and psychic centers, reduces mental tension, induces pleasant healing dreams, prevents over indulgence and encourages transformation and breaking of bad habits.
Apatite – Clears confusion in the mental stratas
Aquamarine – Gives one direction in life and spiritual visions, lifts ones spirit, calms the nerves, protection at sea.
Azurite – jewel of wisdom, revitalizes damaged tissue, good use in hypnosis, stimulates thought, gives mental control.
Carnelian – Gives feeling of well-being, recycles past-life experiences, speeds up law of karma.
Cat’s Eye – Insight into one’s own faults, treats the eyes
Celestite – Communication with cosmic beings and beings of light.
Chrysoprase – Tranquilizer.
ChrysacoIla – Helps alleviate personal fears and guilt, gives clear-seeing, aids in Cancer therapy.
Citrine – Cheerfulness, control over emotions, clear thought, overcomes mental blocks.
Coral – Good for keeping thoughts in control for visualization and while meditating, helps arthritis.
Diamond – Respiratory problems, attunement to higher forces, best worn with other stones, opens Ajna and Crown Chakra.





Emerald – Meditation, healing, business success, it totally rejects evil; gives power to foretell future events, a link with spiritual forces.

Fluorite – Grounds, holds, directs excess energy for highest efficiency and to be used when needed, centering tool.
Garnet – Aids in remembering dreams, for going backwards in time, attracts profound love, gives persistence, cures depression, works on liver to relieve toxins in the body.
Hematite – Bestows wisdom, idealism and unselfishness on wearer, strengthens stomach and intestines when worn on solar plexus, helps stop bleeding.
Jade – Peace, tranquility, soothes the eyes and emotions, for going backwards in time, wisdom, universal attunement, gives long-life and a peaceful death.
Jasper – Improves sense of smell, strengthens one’s will to do good, balances the emotions
Kunzite – Balances emotional and mental bodies.
Laboradorite/Spectrolite – Symbol of opened Third Eye, gives one desire to perfect self balance and aura.
Lapis Lazuli – Stone of friendship, helps one to be more kind and helpful, spiritual attunement, connects us to our resonating star, it is a stone of fidelity.
Malachite – Prosperity, treats the eyes and abnormal blood sugar levels, treats circulatory diseases.
Moonstone – Calming, good for meditation, spiritual guidance and protection while traveling, prophecy, love stimulator, brings happy experiences to those who are sensitive.
Onyx – Stone of separation, can be used for purpose of release, to end a bothersome relationship.
Opal – Divination and prophecy, balances chakras, used for centering self, aids in channeling and teaching truths to others, psychic journeys, anchor of hope, stone of cupid.
Padparadsch – Knowledge of human nature, helps one to see through false friends, brings honor, wealth and friendship
Pearl – Associated with the ministry, wisdom through experience, quickens the law of karma, brings engagements and love relationships.
Peridot – Gift from the Sun, helps us open our inner sight to the spiritual Sun, develops inner vision and the ability to look into the future, frees one of jealous thoughts and counteracts negative emotions.
Quartz Crystal – Raises one’s vibration, bridges the material world with other realms, it has the ability to store and transmit energy, excellent for healing on all levels and for meditation.
Rhodochrosite – Rescue remedy stone, holds force fields with the aid of the Devic Kingdom, inspires forgiveness and heals emotions, attracts love into our life.
Ruby – Spiritual wisdom, focuses mental concentration on a specific thing, confidence – stone of life and energy.






Rutilated Quartz – Rutile in quartz magnifies the basic energy of the quartz and aids in the healing process.
Rose Quartz – Brings more love into the life, skin rejuvenation, kidneys. Sapphire – Treats mental illness, it attracts good people into the life, calms the nerves, suitable for meditation, gives pure insight and God truth, stone of chastity.
Smokey Quartz – Helps one get more in touch with nature, excellent for meditation and healing on the mental and etheric levels, carries an ultra sound frequency which enables one to develop clairaudience and mediumship.
Sodalite – Balances glands and metabolism, good for competitive sports, gives courage and endurance.
Staurolite – Protection, a sweet stone.
Topaz – For contacting astral beings, develops psychic abilities, gives glimpses of the beyond, overcomes fear of death, restores sense of taste, stimulates appetite, calms emotions, relieves tension, restores physical protection from falls and drowning.
Tiger Eye – Purifies the system after over-indulgence, protective stone, treats diseases of the eyes.
Tourmalinated Quartz – A light bringer, breaks up existing habits and conditioning standing in the way of one’s spiritual and physical progress.
Tourmaline – Balances and Protects.
Watermelon Tourmaline – Balances emotions, good for relationships and for those who are counselors, balances the metabolism.
Green Tourmaline – Business success, soothes the nerves, brings the brow and crown chakras into balance.
Pink Tourmaline – Works on the heart chakra, increases the will to love and to sacrifice.
Black Tourmaline – Very protective, good for those who have to deal with negativity.
Turquoise – Reminds us of our spiritual nature, gives protection, stone of friendship.







Zircon – Gives the ability to read images and symbols, a stone for communicating with the angels, gives safe passage wherever one travels and assures a warm reception.

Color of Stones Meanings
White Stones – Purifies physical, emotional, mental or etheric bodies.
Pink – Love, self-respect and self-worth.
Red – Energy, sex, courage.
Orange – Cheerfulness, frees one from too many responsibilities.
Yellow – Mental awareness, nerves.
Green – Healing, abundance, balance self-control.
Turquoise – Flashes of intuition, encounters from the past.
Sky Blue – Increases spiritual awareness.
Dark Blue, Indigo – Protection, strength, occult work, calms
Violet, Purple – Transformation, elevates the soul.
Gold – Wisdom, self-confidence, strengthens the heart.
Brown – Practicality, stabilizes.
Black – Abstract thought, protective, material world.

BIRTH STONES By Sign
Aries – Ruby, Jasper – Red Stones
Taurus – Emerald – Green Stones.
Gemini – Diamond, Herkimer, Quartz – Yellow
Cancer – Moonstone, White Coral – White Stones.
Leo – Peridot, Gold Quartz, Citrine, Gold or Orange Stones.
Virgo – Sapphire, Carnelian, Agate – Dark Blue Stones.
Libra – Opal, Aventurine, Tourmalines – Pink Stones.
Scorpio – Garnet, Beryl, Topaz – Deep Red Stones.
Sagittarius – Topaz, Zircon, Turquoise – Sky Blue Stones.
Aquarius – Lapis Lazuli, Drusy Chrysacolla – Electric Blue.
Pisces – Aquamarine, Amethyst – Purple, Blue-Green Stones.

Birth Stones By Month 
January – Garnet
February – Amethyst
March – Aquamarine
April – Diamond
May – Emerald
June – Pearl
July – Ruby
August – Peridot
September – Sapphire
October – Opal
November – Topaz
December – Turquoise


Right of Mind: One Thing You Can Do That Will Change Your Life.

The question I get almost every day is “How do I make more money?”
There is no easy answer to this. First, ask yourself "What is my income?"  If you are in a career where advancing is not an option or further education is required than ask yourself "How can I make my money work for me instead of me working for my money?"
Alot of times people people are unsuccessful. Yes I said it. People are unsuccessful BECAUSE they work for their money and their income does not suffice their mental success goals. YOU CAN become RICH by changing your "right of mind". For me, "Right of mind" is mental success and how when one changes how they look at things they can change how things are by accepting things. It is not mind trickery or fooling yourself but it is accepting things for what they are, the way they are even if they cannot be changed right away or at all and by doing so you are giving yourself success through freedom from mental anguish and financial turmoil.
All evidence points to the fact that when you accept things for what they are there is no worrying left. For example, say you make $12.00/hr and work a 40 hour week, before taxes that is $480.00. Let's assume your single and your take home pay will be $400.00 a week. Monthly-$1600.00
Write a list of your basic needs debts:
Rent- $580.00/month
Cell-  $70.00/month
Food-$240/month
Car Gas- $240/month
Savings-$50/Weekly
You will be paying $1330.00 for your basic needs and have left over $270.00 for miscellaneous.
As you can see I have added a weekly savings of $50 to the list of basic needs because I assume you do save for rainy days and if you do not I suggest you start. If you were to take $50 away from your check as soon as you cashed or deposited it at the end of one year you will have saved $2400.00. That's a pretty big chunk of change there. 
If you are used to shopping and spending thoughtlessly, don't fret. You can still shop, you just have to use "Right of Mind". Take the space and time worrying filled and replace it with the in control you. Be in control of your spending and budget. Use Google to comparison shop, when shopping on Amazon.com buy used to save money, ebay is great too. 
By changing your worrying into "Right of Mind" thinking you are freeing yourself in many ways. What that means is that we need to do everything we can to counteract mental negativity and make sure that our mental "Right of Mind" stays focused and we stay in control of the drivers seat instead of allowing mental garbage to overflow.
The bottom line is this – while you CANNOT automatically change your life through one change, you CAN enrich your outlook and take control of what is in your grasp through one change.
So it’s up to you – you can live your life constantly worrying and decaying your mind over what you cannot change or you can revive your mind and life through "Right of Mind." I definitely choose to.